Well, in a really chaotic way, I really wanted to think you’d be worth it. I took every memory I had of you in my past and decide it to believe you deserved the effort I was making. Every possible hope was drawn to my present, to make me expect something more from you, to help me create hope, something that would reinforce me to blindly believe you wanted such effort, or even worse, that you deserved it. But you don’t.
It’s not hard to understand. We fight for what we want, and in some cases, we fight for what people might want, and I was fighting for that cause. I was trying to prove how much you meant, and mean, to me. After a while, I got to think it was helpless, since you would not change those erratic ways. We tend to get so complicated, incapable to choose what’s best for us and what brings us down. So, you simply accomplished the so called complicated task of making me understand you weren’t worth the fight. I understood you were one of those things that would bring me down.
People acts for other’s wellbeing in exchange of nothing, conforted with knowing someone else is ok. Yeah, bullshit. Everybody wants something back, most commonly consideration or justice. Nobody would like to do something knowing there won’t be any regard, a thank, and so I am not the exception. When you fight for something, at least you expect your effort will be noticed, or appreciated. If it’s not that way, then desertion is the smart option. After all, humans are odinophobics, and would do whatever it takes to be safe and exempt of pain.
Yet, it’s always understandable that nobody is calm without proper relief, and I’ve just tried to find mine, after not only feeling, but also declaring that I messed up in a almost irreparable way, and I tried to make that up, and mend the damage done, by showing the real meaning of things, the absolute feeling I had towards the happenings, and you forsook and took for granted the willing effort, which got me to think you don’t need nor deserve that attempt, so I’m just done with it Peace.